Tuesday, June 16, 2009

My Love Story

My life can be summed up into a few key words: “change, heartache, disappointment, glory, and love.” I grew up in a home that seemed perfect on the outside. I was even fooled into thinking it was perfect, but there were glimmers of reality that found their way to the surface throughout my childhood. I had an explosive and emotionally abusive father, though he was a great provider for my family. The month before my 16th birthday, at the beginning of my junior year in high school, my parents divorced. Regardless of how poor my relationship was with my dad, I needed his love and his affirmation. This dramatic change in my life sent my world tumbling to the ground, but as I started picking up the pieces, I realized one thing. God remains constant. God is dependable. God is my foundation. When I had nothing else, He stood firm. His love surrounded me and protected me.

Fast forward 5 years. I’m about to graduate, and my experience at college had molded and shaped me into a person who was passionate about the love of Christ, Latin America, social justice. I had fallen in love with a boy and had decided to forego a commitment to the Peace Corps to maintain a relationship with him and to strengthen my relationship with my father. After I graduated, my boyfriend broke up with me because of his struggles with homosexuality. My heart was broken, but the next day, I got an interview for a job in Dallas--in the same city where he lives, far from home, far from anyone I know. This sent my world tumbling to the ground, but as I started picking up the pieces, I remembered one thing. God remains constant. God is dependable. God is my foundation. When I had nothing else, He stood firm. His love surrounded and protected me.

I knew in the furthest realm of my being that Dallas was where God was calling me. Drowning in sorrow and fear, I had the chance to sink or swim. Because of His great love for me and the pattern that I had seen in my life that convinced me of His presence in the past, I knew He was there in the present and would be with me forever. I chose to swim.

Fast forward to now. I am living an adventure, and I am pursuing the things that make me come alive in Christ. Looking back, there are a few elements that were key to not only my survival, but to my success. In the midst of struggle, I found solace in community. Through community, I have begun to allow myself to be loved by God, to love God, to love myself, and to love others. God was and is able to be glorified in my struggle. He continues to rescue me from the trenches and set my feet upon His solid rock. In Him, there is peace. In Him, there is hope. In Him, there is love for all of us.

"Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."
Lamentations 3:21-23